Monday, December 13, 2010

37th Year

This picture was taken 36 years ago. It was my first birthday.

My weekend was busy due to work. The blizzard made working in homecare one of the most dangerous jobs in America. I did not sleep until the wee hour of the morning because of paperwork, chores and baby crying in the middle of the night. Though lack of sleep, I was pleasantly surprised that I am not tired at all this morning. Thanks to the Monday morning adrenaline rush! With all these unusual morning energy, I decided to check my e-mail, my mailbox was full of Facebook notifications telling me of my long lost friends writing their greetings and wishes. I am touched by these unexpected outpourings.

It is taking me a while to realize that what makes LIFE worth living is good relationship with people you care about. I hear it a lot. I know it intellectually. But I am yet to learn to practice it. When things get rough, I easily fall into despair. I cannot help it at times. I am a weak person. It is in my genes.

My life is full of uncertainties right now. Sometimes I wonder if I made some wrong turns along the way. That's the problem of living in a democratic place, where we have so much choices. Did I choose the wrong path? Will I be happier if I had chosen the other career path, or partner? Or should have I done things differently 10 years ago? That's the peril of living in the free world! We tend to contemplate on what could have been when things did not go as we planned it.

But hey, I am still lucky. I have an intact family which I consider happy and (thank God)functional, and a miracle baby whose birth is the highlight of my 37 years.