Monday, January 19, 2009


Just a quick update on what's going on with me...

I got involved in two car accidents in less than a week!

I feel so relieved to get it out in the open. I thought I was a pretty good driver. It is such an awakening to realize that I am not. For now, I am extra careful with my driving. I follow the rules by the book. So, if ever I get into accident again I can proudly say ( if I survive) that it is not my fault!

I was so depress for a short time after the 2nd accident. The 1st accident was my fault; the 2nd one was weather related. But the 2nd one just brought me to the ground. I thought I have to quit my job and stop driving altogether. But that emotion passed and I decided to stay on because I have to pay for my mishaps. We have a thousand bucks for deductible and 800 bucks for the repair of the rental car that I damaged from the 2nd accident. Ouch! I have to tap my savings... Also, we are bracing for a raise in our car insurance premium. And, oh before I forgot I have to pay my traffic ticket for failing to yield to oncoming traffic. That's another 100 bucks.

I know I am still lucky that no one was hurt. So, for that, I am thankful..

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Empty Nester

I am so tired. I can feel it in my bones. This weekend had been very busy. We moved my father to an apartment, so, he can be closer to work. After about a year and a half of living together, I am conflicted between feeling of relief and missing him.

Our relationship is not perfect, maybe far from it. We are just two flawed individuals who happened to be related. We never lived together this long since 1979 (that's when I was 5 years old). He worked as a cook in a cargo ship when we were growing up. He was home only about 2 to 3 months a year. I did not really know my father until the time he lived with us. The funny thing is that it is like looking in a mirror. I can see the resemblance in mannerism and character. It is true that an apple never falls too far from its tree. It explains my timidness, painful shyness, occasional indifference and my perpetual need for re-assurance.

I still cannot believe he is not staying with us anymore. Now, we have to prepare our lunch, shovel snow, bring out the garbage and recyclables, fold the laundry, mop the kitchen floor, clean the bathroom and bake bread. I never realized how much help he does for us. I will also miss that every morning, he brought my purse, lap top and lunch bag in my car. He stayed out until we drove away. I am actually beginning to cry.

I know, though, that it is for the best that we live apart. We actually get along better when we don't live together. We have our conflict. I thought it will get better with time but I was wrong. It is much peaceful this way.

I worry about him constantly. Does he have enough food to eat? Is he keeping warm? Is it safe for him to walk to work? It is like having a child! My husband is constantly reminding me that he is a big boy and he could take care of himself.

We visited again this morning. I cut his hair. We assisted him in hanging curtains. We noticed that he seems happier. My mother will be moving in with him in a week and I think he is excited.

I wish all the best to my parents...