37th Year

This picture was taken 36 years ago. It was my first birthday.

My weekend was busy due to work. The blizzard made working in homecare one of the most dangerous jobs in America. I did not sleep until the wee hour of the morning because of paperwork, chores and baby crying in the middle of the night. Though lack of sleep, I was pleasantly surprised that I am not tired at all this morning. Thanks to the Monday morning adrenaline rush! With all these unusual morning energy, I decided to check my e-mail, my mailbox was full of Facebook notifications telling me of my long lost friends writing their greetings and wishes. I am touched by these unexpected outpourings.

It is taking me a while to realize that what makes LIFE worth living is good relationship with people you care about. I hear it a lot. I know it intellectually. But I am yet to learn to practice it. When things get rough, I easily fall into despair. I cannot help it at times. I am a weak person. It is in my genes.

My life is full of uncertainties right now. Sometimes I wonder if I made some wrong turns along the way. That's the problem of living in a democratic place, where we have so much choices. Did I choose the wrong path? Will I be happier if I had chosen the other career path, or partner? Or should have I done things differently 10 years ago? That's the peril of living in the free world! We tend to contemplate on what could have been when things did not go as we planned it.

But hey, I am still lucky. I have an intact family which I consider happy and (thank God)functional, and a miracle baby whose birth is the highlight of my 37 years.

Look who's one!

Happy Birthday Benji!

Love,

Mommy

Just feeling down!

The result of the midterm election makes me want to lie down on the floor in a fetal position and stay there for days! I am so disappointed on people forgetting so easily what caused our current ailing...

I am not a political person and I am actually not comfortable opening up my political view. I am just depressed about the result and I want to rant. But, I am still optimistic about the future of this country. However, if Sarah Palin got elected as President, then, it will be time for me to move somewhere else... Hopefully it will not end that way. I know Americans are smarter than that, I hope.

Recent Photo

Yes, I am still here. Just too busy, most of the time. Working more now. Baby boy is also more demanding. Here's our most recent photo!

On Marriage

I am currently listening to an audio book entitled Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert who also authored the best-selling book which was made into movie starring Julia Roberts Eat Pray Love. I admit I find Committed more interesting because I can relate to it more because I'm married and a woman. I had several AHA! moments while listening to this book that I decided to read it in print. I haven't actually read it yet but I already borrowed the only available copy in our local public library and it happens to be in large print. I don't care. I am obsessed. I cannot even wait to finish the book to start mentioning it here.

Anyway, one of the topics that fascinates me that Ms. Gilbert discussed is about how marriage benefits a man more than a woman. She calls it the Marriage Benefit Imbalance. According to study, married men perform better in life than single men. Compared to single men, married men live longer; accumulate more wealth; excel more in their careers; far less likely to die a violent death; happier; and suffer less from alcoholism, drug addiction, and depression. On the other hand, married women do not fare better than their single counterpart. Married women actually take a 7 percent cut, on average, of their paycheck. They are less healthy than single women and more likely to suffer from depression.

Well, in my experience, marriage has been mostly good. Financially, I think I am better off because expenses are shared, therefore, more disposable income for both of us. There's that companionship. Lot's of things are just better experienced when you're with someone special. The biggest thing, perhaps, is the opportunity of being able to stay at home with the baby. I don't think this will be possible if I were a single mother, unless, of course, I were super rich which I'm not. Child-rearing is also easier with a partner as we can tag-team the responsibility. I cannot imagine, and probably will not survive a life of a single mother.

I will read this book and write more about it.

Quick Update while He sleeps!

The older he gets, lesser time I have for doing anything else. He's now 8 months and very mobile. He started crawling 2 weeks ago, creeping 4 weeks earlier. He would not sleep in his crib. So, we are now co-sleeping in our newly bought king-size bed. I still nurse which is a miracle and he is an all-night-er. He has 2 fully sprouted bottom teeth and 3 teeth on their way out (ouch!). I haven't had an 8 hour of sleep straight for almost 3 months now since he started teething. He loves sweet potatoes, apples and pears. Everything I feed him is home-made except for the cereal. I obsess about his food. I spend more money on his food than our food. Everything is organic. It can be expensive because it takes him several tries before he will take on new food. My favorite time with him is bath time as he squeals with glee when water splashes every time he slaps it. He hasn't been sick (knock on wood). His biggest problem is his eczema. He loves to be read to. He smiles and looks at me when I change my voice for the characters in the book.

Okay he's awake now. I have to go!

He's a Handful!

He loves to eat everything except his food. He loves to play with everything except his toys. He has energy that could outlast anyone over the age of 30. Are boys like this? I sound like a sexist...maybe I am.