Wednesday, July 4, 2012

12th Year Part 2

Our arguments are becoming more frequent.  At times, I felt like it is the end.  Then, we would come to our senses and realized that it will not be that easy to get the "D" word.  One thing,  we have a son who complicates things for us.  According to survey, money is the main reason couples fight. The sad part is we belong in that statistic.  Add to it  is my PMS which seems to  last 3 weeks. 

We have so many differences.  I am more uptight, he is more relaxed.  I am more ambitious and I feel like he is on the mediocre side (this is probably just my opinion).  I was raised Christian and he is an atheist.  I grew up in a dysfunctional family, his family is painfully bland and functional.  I hunger for more learning and he's just content.  I'm a Filipino and he's an American.

Our initial attraction was strong.   We did that PDA thing for several years.  I miss that.  I felt jealous when I see young couple who are so in love.  I wish  to return to that with him. 

                                                      Us in 1999


Ed said...

I'm not a therapist so I don't know how to fix things. All I can say is that life is too short to not be happy. You need to be happy whether that means figuring out how to fix things or removing yourself from the situation.

Kids are happy if their parents are happy. I came from a divorced family when I was only six years old and turned out all right I think.

Wishing you the best.

geri said...

hi Malor, I have always thought if I were to have huge problems in my marriage to the point of seriously considering divorce I would insist of us getting a counseling in order to save it, especially when there is a child involved. Having a small child around can create a rift and different kind of tension than just when it is only you and him. Try to wait a couple of more years when child rearing would becomw a lot easier before giving up on each other. It could mean a lot of difference. Wishing for the best for you three. Ate Geri

malor said...

@ Geri and Ed, Thank you for reading my post. It is very depressing and I was not wanting to share very personal things but I just went ahead because that's what's going on in my life.

I really appreciate your comments. I know we are going through difficult stage of our life with limited income and opportunities plus a demanding toddler. I know everything will turn out fine.


Makis said...

I think every couple sometimes feels it's the end & at times wondered about divorce one time or the other. It's the anger, the pain & the frustration talking most of the time. Mariage is hard work & add to that being parents. I've always believed that your similiraties will teach you to be more understanding of each other & your differences to be more tolerant. Big hugs, Loraine!

kala said...

Like you said, everything will turn out fine. It's so hard to know what to do in situations like this... I hope you find out what works for you both. It'll pass. Courage!

haze said...

Every marriage has its ups and downs.....without the downs we will never learn to value relationships. No marriage is problem-free, no marriage is perfect so consider your frequent disputes normal. Ah differences, in any case it is our differences that make us dynamic. Let problems make you closer to resolve it together, don't let problem tear you apart. Good luck Malor and am sure you'll both able to assess things and work things out. Remember you are a TEAM !

malor said...

hi makis, kala and haze, i just read your comments. thanks for the encouragement.