12th Year Posting Part 1

I am somewhat sick with colds.  I'm too busy at work and  home.  I am emotionally drained by my job and family.  But I just want to write something today...

For today, 2 days early of our 12th year wedding anniversary, we decided to get out and celebrate..  We both agreed that things has changed.  Life is more complicated.  Our view less rosier.   Our ties deeper.  We survived many arguments, infertility,  Fort Dodge, Dallas,  my family, his family, my father's death, my unending insecurities, etc...

So for the occasion, we decided to give ourselves gift.  We bought Fiesta table settings in 4 different colors.  We deserve it.  We're hoping that using Fiesta plates will give our relationship more sophistication, more civility in the coming years...  I am crossing my fingers...

Chimamanda Adichie: The danger of a single story

Once in a while when I least expected, inspiration comes and changes my heart forever, in a good way. I happened upon this speech late one night while finshing my computer charting. It's 20 minutes well spent...

Francophile Parenting Books Review

I just recently finished two parenting books --  Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman and French Kids Eat Eveything by Karen Le Billon.  Both books are written by North American women, Druckerman from the US and Le Billon from Canada.  Druckerman lives in Paris with her British husband while Le Billon (who is married to a French) and her family divide time between Vancouver and Brittany.

Bringing Up Bebe by Druckerman discusses the parenting differences between French and American parents while French Kids Eat Everything tackles more on French eating vs. North American eating habits. 

I would admit I am a Francophile myself.  My wildest dream would be to move to France and learn how to speak French.  Of course, this would never happen.  My husband is not a Francophile and he is happy to be here in Iowa.  And, I am too old to learn a new language.  As my mother told me when I was younger and insisting to buy a tape to learn French, I should just focus on my English.  Spanish is more practical to learn in America.

Anyway,  the one thing that I took away from these books is the importance of food education for kids (and adults too).  The contrast between North American and French in regards to food habit is very much highlighted.  Even the French school system and daycares (creche)  are very much involve in this aspect.  These are just the things I remember most.

1. There is no "kid food" in France.  The kids eat what adults eat.
2.  The focus of eating in France is pleasure versus North American focus on nutrition.  However, balance diet is very much emphasized in France. 
3.  Lunch is the most important meal of the day.  They eat most of their protein at lunch, carbohydrate or vegetables  at supper.   French kids get most of their calories at school lunch.  Ms. LeBillon has a blog and she posts menus of different French school district.  Many, if not all, agrees that the French menu is a lot better and healthier than American cafeteria menu.
4.  They only eat their food in the dining table.  No eating while standing or walking.  No eating in the car, etc.
5.  They eat 3 square meals a day plus a snack at 4PM (gouter).  Present day North American kids are heavy on snacking -- grazing as they call it.  They start training their kids to eat on this schedule from birth.  Most French women don't breastfeed for more than 3 months.

Aside from giving importance on Food Education, these are some French parenting facts that stood out for me from Bringing Up Bebe. 
1.  French parents are more relaxed than Americans.  Aside from generous government subsidies for childcare, free healthcare  and high quality creches, French babies tend to sleep through the night  by the age 2 to 4 mos.  Most mothers accept that the perfect mother does not exist.   They let their children "discover"things for themselves, instead of pushing them to acquire skills. 
2.  Pregnancy is not a free ticket to get fat or eat everything you want.  Okay, in my personal experience, I followed a strict diet during my pregnancy due to my gestational diabetes.  However, I know a lot of people who used their pregnancy as an excuse to eat what they want.
3.  The French encourages autonomy (as much as they can handle, Mr. Druckerman points out) .  They don't believe on attached parenting.   A week long field trip for 5 year olds is a reality in France. 
4.  French parents  also don't lose themselves into parenting.  It is important for them to keep their identities and lives of their own separate from their children.

Overall, I realized that French parenting is not at all that unique.  I remember some of these when I was growing up in the Philippines.  We just had 3 meals a day.  Occasional snack or merienda in the afternoon.  Also, my parents are not really too attached to us.  My father worked overseas and my mother is a working mother.  We had a series of maids and relatives who helped with childcare.  Most Filipino parents are authoritative.  Negotiating is discouraged.  Talking back is a sin. 

So, when I moved here in the US, I was impressed  on how Americans are so expressive with their children.   Children are put on a pedestal, the center of attention.   I was impressed on how confident children are on talking with adults and expressing themselves.  I was not nearly that confident in my 20s even.  I am also impressed that many young Americans are assertive.  Many Americans of different ages and backgrounds could talk to anyone.  They could talk and socialize with their boss confidently.  They could question doctors, politicians, teachers,  pretty much any authority figures.  And I, surely,  love that. 

  
I don't believe that French parenting is superior than Americans. They are different for sure.   One article stated that such difference is because their goals and values are different.  The French values tradition and solidarity while Americans values innovation and free-thinking (not sure of the exact wordings here).  One thing for sure, though, the French has an edge on their Eating Habits.  So that, I will surely try to emulate.   Ms Le Billon of  French Kids Eat Everything has listed French Food Rules and practical tips for North American parents. 

After reading these books,  I am more aware on  how uncivilized my family during meals.  When  things get messy,  I now say, "that's so un-French!"   My husband does not look amused.

Easy Way to peel garlic...

Nope, I haven't tried it, yet!

Rare Weekend Off

This is rare for us.  A full weekend with both my husband and I  off from work!

Our house is a mess.  Our yard is a mess.  I have an online class I need to finish before April 10.  He has things to do for his class.  We have loads of laundry.  We have a bathroom that needs to be remodeled.  I would like to change the vanity in our powder room.  I would like to bake.  I would like us to cook and consume all the frozen vegetables from last year's harvest.  I have books I want to read.  I would like to make up for lost sleep.    To top it all, we have a toddler who needs constant attention!

Maybe working on the weekends is not a bad thing  after all!

28th Month

Today he turned 28th month.  I realized we haven't been  updating his baby book for quite a while.  I neglected to record his height and weight since he turned 9 month.  I don't even remember when his first molar appeared.  Oh well, at least, I kept his hair from his first haircut.

What can I say about Benji? 

He spits.  He curses.  He hits.  At least now, he stopped biting.  Yes, he is the epitome of bad behavior. Many times he embarrasses me in public. He could throw a tantrum wherever. He had broken items in the store (good thing they don't have us pay for those except  in oriental store where he broke a bottle of soy sauce).  At times, he is just too quick and strong for us.  He likes the attention of other people but gets shy once he gets it. His favorite pick-up  or attention-getting line is Iowa Public Television Foundation (you could tell, we've been watching a lot of PBS lately.)  He only eats hamburger (with or without spaghetti sauce), cheese pizza, granola bar, cookies, Kix, snap pea crisp, candies (of course) and a blended concoction of mango, pears and spinach.  I threw all Dr. Sear's suggestions on nutrition because he is just too picky.  He needs to be coaxed to drink milk, even. 

Most kids (that I know) bring their blankets or soft toys in bed.  Benji would bring his hot wheel cars, tooth brushes, mouth swab,  ball of socks,   etc.  He can get so obsessive.  He inhales Altoids tin can  and dryer sheets  like a person addicted to cocaine or glue.  It is strange to see a toddler like that.  But I have to pick my battles.  It does not hurt him. Yet.

He could make our house looks like it's been ran sacked.   It takes him just few minutes to trash the house that took us hours to clean up.  To no avail, I teach him to bring his toys back to the bin and  his books back to the shelves.  We just give up cleaning.  He would also trash the library if given an opportunity.  He'd thrown books and CD's on the floor when he's bored.

Not all about him is bad.  He has developed by leaps and bounds since he was born.    He  loves to sing and hum nursery rhymes,  especially  Baa Baa Black Sheep.  A  month ago, he added ABC to his song list,  then 2 weeks ago The Farmer in the Dell.  I'm pretty sure he knows more songs than what I mentioned  here.   He also loves listening to  the Wiggles' Hot Potato and Fruit Salad.  He knows his capital letters (he's still learning small letters) and numbers 1 to 9 (he insists small L as 1).  He could count a little bit.  He knows his primary colors.  But he does not know  how to say Bye's and Thank yous.  He refuses to do it!

My husband's fear is that he will never get potty trained.  My fear is that he will not learn how to read.  Maybe, we should worry about his manners , huh?

More on Story Corps

T.V. and radio are my companions during my long nights of finishing  work....  I mostly tune in to PBS or NPR.  I am not a music person.  I am more of a talk radio kind-of-gal.   So, one time I heard this story about an old man telling a story about killing a German soldier during World War 2, and how it haunted him for the rest of his life.  Then, I saw the animated short in TV.  I dont know why it became my favorite...